Prayers of the days, struggle of illusions 19 February 2025
Courtesy freepik.com
Translation of a poem in Arabic that I wrote on 15 May 2011 and that I had never translated before. I am providing below the English translation the original poem with a small correction. There are probably other small grammatical errors that I would not have noticed.The previous poem was published here دعاء الأيام، كفاح ألأوهام | Geetha Balvannanathan's Blog - Isis Tratum
If only I were a scream to flirt with your lips as I rise from them springing free, forgetting silence
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If only I were a rock to roll between your hands as I oppose your ways against happiness resilient, bound, committed to stillness
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If only I were a chick to hide between your wings as I look out from them satisfied and calm, yours until I die
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If only I were pride to support the pulse between your ribs as I help you store the air a loyal owner, extracting sorrows
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Today, from your rib I am renewed, a sorceress, Eve and from my rib, none can remove you neither past grudges nor annihilation
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I am the scream of the steadfast rock so forget, Sisyphus, that I should roll I am the pride of the chick for its mother my days' tears flowed like rivers
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I am every mother who called in the dark the stones were shattered by my screams I am what escaped the death of dreams the wells filled with the blood of my veins
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Look to the oncoming spring for it bears the seed of my flowers Put on the garment of the regretful autumn for it is too late to oppress me
دعاء الأيام، كفاح الأوهام 2011-05-15
ليتني صرخة كي أغازل شفتيك و أنا أرتفع منهما منطلقة حرَة ناسية السُكوت
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ليتني صخرة كي أتكركب بين يديك و أنا أعارض طرقك ضدَ الهناء صامدة مقيَدة ملتزمة بالسُكون
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ليتني فرخ كي أتخبَأ بين جناحيك و أنا أطلُ منها راضية هادئة، لك إلى أن أموت
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ليتني فخر أساند النَبض بين ضلعيك وأنا أساعدك على تخزين الهواء مالكة وافية منتزعة للشجون
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أنا اليوم من ضلعك تجدَدت ساحرة حوَاء و من ضلعي ما أمكن نزعك لا الحقد الماضي و لا الفناء
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أنا صرخة الصخرة الصَامدة فإنس يا سيزيف أن أستدار أنا فخر الفرخ للأم الوالدة سال دمع أيامي سيل الأنهار
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أنا كل أم نادت في الظلام تحطمت بصرختي الأحجار أنا ما نجى من موت الأحلام إمتلأت بدم عروقي الآبار
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أنظر إلى الربيع القادم فهو يحمل زرع زهري إرتد ثوب الخريف النادم فقد فات الأوان عن قهري
Reading of the translation in English of the original Arabic poem:
Reading of the original Arabic poem (most likely with some grammar mistakes)
Centuries
float by as I sit
on my knees
in prayer
The bosom silent slayer
of my withered dreams
Weaving streams
my lids’ waters flow
The heart beats
as they grow
Mind knows of timeless defeats
as it caves down slow
Death repeats
riddles of my spleen
Now washed clean
they glimmer
in incandescent shimmer
revive the unseen
Yesterday
impossible time
I woke up
to a rhyme
it rang within me a bell
solitary chime
I lived lives
etched in galaxies
cosmic rings
shaking me
Wedded to the law of three
sacred in me sings
Tomorrow
whisper that arrives
when mouth drives
widowed wives
As the eye watches teary
the heart grows weary
Reading of the poem:
Seek me in the rivers that flow stark
I have given in to the tides that all embrace
yielding into the deltas that claim more
that demand from all the very core
I will gaze upon the sun unflinching
the memories of you lying intact
unravelling in a world we never touch
as I watch your dark wings glowing
Laying on a bed of flowers exhaling
scent of jasmine, rose and moonflowers
I am one with my other face hidden
deep into the water it slowly grows
What is you has now become me, us
and what I am I know exists no more
yet I explore the emptiness of your face
translucent, aglow, it escapes physicality
I look beyond the life we never had
beyond stolen instances of nighttime
into the compressed breaths taken
to construe a world beyond the world
We will sing sweet and soft lullabies
to the unborn children we raised
in our mind’s eye they roam playgrounds
sitting in the recesses of my bosom
We keep and weep within my bosom
withered like an old nun’s gait
it speaks of unraveled moments
In Time we will see them flourish
Reading of the poem:
Fed with constant realities
their idle waves of intent
breaking through my fears
I bear fruit to a sullen morrow
I fixate beyond the edge of myself
on the anticipated remembrance
of the snow-white place in me
where I fail to see you no more
Your face grows stark and steady
In a solitary place I keep hidden
between collar bone and chest
bubbling with the residue of unrest
My brain will build tall citadels
where your name will reiterate
like a broken disk hitting my skull
one dull thud after another drops
There are fleeting looks encircled
by the morosity of frozen cheeks
They bask in the sunlit shadows
born to the eye that blinks never
Tomorrow I will bear no weight
Like a maiden before her sunset
I will tear away my shaking limbs
in offering to the beasts that pray
Reading of the poem:
The woods’ outline was cool and comforting against the blue skies in the scorching heat that she could feel rise to a peak level again. She moved swiftly towards it and gladly delved into the first cluster of roots and leaves that lay at the outskirts of the woods. Her skin feverishly welcomed the dew that fell off the leaves onto her arms. She stooped further as a heavy branch hid the way to the inside of the woods and crossing underneath it reached a small clearing.
The air was filled with the smell of moss growing all around under the trees. The smell of it felt like heaven to her after her time in the city. There was also a strong smell of burnt wood and she wondered where it came from. She ventured further into the woods following the smell of the burnt wood until she arrived to another clearing and found a tree that had been split into two, visibly struck by lightning, the two sides charred and fallen to the ground. The center of the tree was still fuming a bit and she could sense humming all around it.
She looked around and saw a swarm of bees all around the neighbouring trees. She wondered whether they had been in the tree before it had been burnt down. She was a little apprehensive on whether the bees would attack her as they seemed quite restless but they only circled around her and never dived upon her to sting her. The way they were hovering around, they seemed to be dancing and she found that quite odd. Suddenly they stopped their movement and after a few seconds they flew in group towards a spot at the end of the clearing.
She ran after the bees, eager to see what had drawn them there. In the distance she could see lights flickering. She wondered if there were people in the woods out here like her to escape the heat of the city. She hid behind one of the trees near the end of the clearing and watched intently as the lights drew closer. She realised that the lights were coming over a stretch of water that started at the end of the clearing. She looked further and found out that it was actually a large river. The lights came over the edge of the river and stopped on the river bank.
She came out of her hiding place behind the trees and stared curiously at the lights. There seemed to be nothing holding them up there, not even an insect. She reached out to the lights and could feel a tingling feeling at the tip of her fingers. The river bank softly gave way under her feet and she seemed to be sinking as she could no longer feel the earth underneath. At the same time, the lights seemed to move closer to her or perhaps she was moving closer to hem. She could feel their warmth as they engulfed her…
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