When you are into healing (whether the planet, people, yourself or other sentient beings), there comes a time in your life when the concept of having a great time out with friends bears not much of a sense to you anymore. It is not that you don’t like your friends anymore or don’t want to be with them, it is just that the concept of “hanging out” as perceived by your friends bears no kinship with the meaning of having a good time as you envision it.
This is not something that I have always been experiencing as there was a time when I would not mind “hanging out” with friends (both male and female) and being silly and having fun. I still don’t mind having fun but the awkwardness that has crept into this having fun where people find it necessary to plaster their facebook, Instagram, tiktok or other more physical walls with stills or videos of them screaming, gesticulating or performing other wild actions and voice streams just does not appeal to me anymore – if it ever had really appealed to me. I also tire of some whose narcissistic display goes beyond conveying just a photo of them feeling happy but includes several videos of face and increasingly naked body shots of themselves with different kinds of music. Result is unfollow, unfollow, unfollow…
Beyond that slight growing distaste of the splashing of these sometimes crude moments (I have seen some displaying the main character throw up repeatedly to the chorus of her friends laughing) for others to see as if they would not be satisfactory in and of themselves but would only take on meaning if others were to look at them and enjoy them, endorsing this enjoyment by a like applied to this display, I realised that I was growing tired of this whole type of exterior itself. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind people sharing nice moments when they are happy or landscapes of where they have been and I too take photos that I post on Instagram or facebook but they don’t go beyond conveying this positive message. The almost fake screaming and going wild to compete with other streams where people seem wild has just become too much of drama to bear, especially when I compared it to the seemingly endless suffering of other human beings in distress whether because of war, hunger, both or other reasons.
I started slowly realising that I not only don’t enjoy these crude or sad messages anymore but I simply feel the need to withdraw from these manifestations of an overwhelming desire to appear to have fun – for the sake of the camera – and forget the fun itself. Unfollow.. unfollow… The resulting stream on facebook and Instagram is mainly of my extended family, some good friends and some meaningful videos put together by organisations that want to convey a message.
Nowadays, I mostly enjoy actual artsy moments with people singing, dancing or drawing/painting and most of all, I enjoy watching children having fun on and off camera. The view of nature (whether landscapes, birds or animals) also appeals to me far more than the forced enjoyment of human beings. I find that in my life as well, I interact more and more with children and nature and my only interactions with older human beings are for my daily work, the times when I go to the gym and of course when I walk outside or heal people.
My healing of people would have become all-encompassing if I did not have a daily job. I feel compelled to do it and am so much happier when I can dedicate my time to healing others, myself and Mother Earth. It is sometimes so strong that when I merely think of healing somebody else and have not yet started the healing, that person would send me a message saying they feel so much better. I wonder whether it is the placebo effect or the fact that with the strong intention being outside of time, the effect was already manifesting itself before I had begun (a quantum level of healing).
Plunging into this healing world and my inner thoughts, meditation and awareness has made me distance myself more and more from the outer world. It is as if that world were disappearing into a great void, a black hole yet at the same time it burns as bright as an enormous flame. I sometimes wonder whether I would open my eyes and see that there was nothing around anymore, just emptiness and a new world rebuilding, much better than it was. Then I open my eyes and see more killing, more pain, more fear and again gear myself towards healing, inward, outward, all-encompassing. I heal and I keep my faith in human beings because before some wound or a cumulative array of wounds forced them into a warped sense of adulthood that lost the inner child, they were children too.
I move quite regularly and can almost say that moving has become a habit, a treasured activity that forces me to reinvent myself while I reinvent my surroundings and ensure that either I adapt to them or they bear with me as I coax them into more habitable spaces that yield the kind of experience I wish. Every time I move, I unravel a trove of memories that come back to me like a storm or like a calm summer wind, depending upon how they were made and what they were made of. Some memories transcend the place and time they were born into and stay rooted like a hundred year-old olive tree. Their traces are like its shimmering leaves, spreading the feelings they once gave rise to within our bosoms and etching their particular aroma within our hungry nostrils as their intricacies play within our minds.
I sometimes feel like the olive tree itself, my memories shimmering within me and shedding light onto the pathways they forged within my mind. I am a tree of memories, the good and the bad, all laid out for my inner eye to see and my guts to experience all over again. I carry them sometimes into the open so I may pour all over them again my keen mind, eager to make sense of what could sometimes be senseless or to feel again what I had suppressed before for fear of not being able to overcome the deep foreboding that overcame me at that time. I am like a tree, yet unlike a tree I am unable to root myself into any ground. It seems like my gypsy spirit always wants to soar above the ground and visit yet another distant land, another unexplored part of the world. I sometimes wish I were an astronaut, able to roam the Universe rather than just the Earth.
I wonder if it is the fact that I come from a multicultural, multiracial background that makes me unable to take root anywhere. I feel no kinship to any of the countries I was born in or originated from by way of my lineage. More than a citizen of the world, I feel like a citizen of nothing, just a mass of energy floating here and there, never settling anywhere more than 6 years at a time in general. The longest I ever lived somewhere was in Dubai at Al Thanya Street where I remained for 8 years from 2010 until early 2018. For some reason, if it is not I who want to move, circumstances push me to make a move for somewhere else to stay in and I have never been able to stay in one place for 10 years or so. Every time I think I have found the place I want to stay in, I am out of there before the usual 6 year chime. It is as if I were a home Cinderella where the home would become a pumpkin at the end of the 6th year and my slippers would turn into bristles, causing me to strip them off and get going. So once more into the fray, this was again my moving day…
This weekend I attended reiki Okuden level. Those who know me are aware that I do pranic healing after having taken successfully the 5 levels of pranic healing courses at the Grand Master Choa Kok Sui centre in Dubai. I have been doing pranic healing since 2017 after having initially started doing energy healing in 2013 and I am now headed towards becoming a Reiki Master which I hope to achieve before the end of the year.
During this level of reiki healing we were introduced to three Reiki symbols that we could use in order to better define the flow of Reiki. The symbols that would be drawn would also be associated to mantras that could be chanted under one’s breath or aloud and Kotodamas (a series of vowels derived from the mantras) to chant. At the Master level we are supposed to be introduced to the fourth and last symbol.
The first symbol we were introduced to was that of power that could be used for grounding, protection, cleansing, to remove physical blockages, for charging or cleansing crystals and for psychological blockages. The mantra associated with it is CHO KU REI (Tcho Koo Ray) and the Kotodama is O U E I (Ow Ooh Ay Eee). At home, I used this symbol to strengthen one of my knees that had been slightly flailing.
The second symbol which I really liked was the symbol of harmony, which could be used to recalibrate communication, to start healing someone with a difficult emotional state, for balancing, to help sleep, etc. The mantra associated with it is SEI HE KI (Say Hay Kee) and the Kotodama is E I E KI (Ay Eee Ay Kee). At home, in the evening, I drew the symbol in the space on all four walls in my living room and immediately felt a sense of harmony fill the space around me.
The third symbol which I also liked a lot was the connection symbol that was one of the most elaborate ones of the three that I have been shown. This symbol could be used to connect to pure consciousness and as denoted by its name, it could be used as a bridge between two things that would otherwise not have a common denominator. Say for example one wanted to make a conflict go away or at least lessen it, one could draw this symbol between both camps to the conflict and flow Reiki within that space. The mantra associated with it is HON SHA ZE SHO NEN (Hon Sha Zay Sho Nen) and the Kotodama is H(O) A ZE H(O) NE (Oh A Tzay Oh Nay)
I have already started doing healing using these three symbols and am very much looking forward to doing my Master course and healing from that premise in the future. I also have my sights set on other modalities of healing such as Jin Shin Jyutsu and healing through the higher self with the college of healing hoping that this would offer the people I heal a really large palette of healing methods and in some instances I could actually combine two or more of these methods.
5 Minute Calming Chakra Healing Meditation, Positive Energy Vibration, Aura Cleansing Meditation
When she had first started using the shamanic gift on a large scale to summon rains she had known that this would happen according to the Ancient magic rules. These dictated that whatever the outcome in the immediate physical it would be replicated within one year or up to eighteen months from the time the ceremony was carried out thereby molding consciousness at that time. This was known as the frontal projection of the consciousness stream and required the shaman to separate from his/her physical self and stay astral during the intended time. Conversely, in a backward timeloop, one had to make the astral body go three years before the present time to carry out a shamanic ceremony that would affect the present.
Initially, she was meant to migrate from her current city to a special place called Alice Springs. She had pondered about it when the city had come out as a result of her dowsing ceremony as she did not know what this meant. It was then that she realized that there existed an Alice Springs and it was in Australia. By coincidence her own helper was dreaming of going to Australia but rather to Sydney than anywhere else. She thought that consciousness combined with her spells should take her to Australia then in astral form if not in the flesh.
At first, she realized that it was the fires of the phoenix that had been let out in the combined consciousness and to combat the ensuing drought-like state it was necessary to summon the rains. Her location was quite far from the regions affected but she knew that consciousness could carry through the shamanic trance joined with the witches’ spell if she released them within the right level of consciousness and at the right moment for them to manifest.
She knew that GAIA’s program was to regenerate herself by reducing what she considered weeds spread amongst her beautiful flowers. As a good gardener knows, if a beautiful patch of the garden is contaminated by weeds or by parasitic flowers, it is necessary to sacrifice patches of those flowers to save the whole garden. As a result GAIA had decided to wipe out many of what she considered weeds and that were in effect human beings. She did not consider them as more important than others because humans had long lost their connection to GAIA. She decided to do this in the region that lent itself the most to this and entire cities in Australia had suffered raging fires. The shamanic trance and combined witches’ spell helped with bringing some relief with the rains to the lands although it was insufficient as not enough levels of consciousness were drawn in by the worded intention. In short, the magic was diluted…
Hello everybody and I hope you are sound and safe at home or elsewhere.
This is my new attempt since a while with chalk. With everyone self-isolated or almost, it seemed like a good idea to start with this again.
The last time I drew with chalk was almost 3 years ago so I became rusty again at it. The chalk I ordered was quite small so difficult to maneuver and disappeared quite quickly but I hope you will like this all the same.
Stay blessed, stay safe until this whole thing blows over, hopefully in time to let us enjoy some spring.
The Frost Chronicles 5: The secret world of the Marid part 3
22 March 2020
Courtesy games workshop on Pinterest
With the second Marid now disappeared she had sat to think about potential new items that she could trade in this world for some money. The first item that crossed her mind was a device which, when secured at the bottom of where the pineal gland would fall upon at the base of the skull – if it had been able to fall, would cause the person to experience lucid dreaming or attain a high depending upon what their mindset was at the time of wearing it. She realized that this device would probably be too difficult to create on her own as it would have neuropulsers which was something that had not been discovered yet and that transmitted pulses into the brain from outside the skull. It would be developed in the future to activate and/or stabilize zones of the mind that were either not working or working erratically but as with all things scientific, a second usage would be attempted to escape reality.
She then thought that she should probably move to something which was not scientific but rather cultural or fashion based. She could see in her mind’s eye women wearing clothes made of plastic which had been conditioned so that it was almost as soft as silk on the skin. Again, however, she could not see what material had been used to condition the plastic for it to turn into a silk-like material so she realized that this too would be something she would have to forego. She then thought to herself that surely if she was able to see the end result, she should be able to see the transformation. She focused on the process of transforming plastic into a silk-like material and realized that this involved using amongst other items large amounts of balsamic vinegar and some hydrochloric acid. She thought that this was indeed a funny process and delved within her mind to discover the other items required.
After she had made a list of the items, she realized that it would be so much easier for her to ask for the exact processes from the Marid. She realized that the second Marid, her would-be father, was probably the best to ask about these matters. She had not, however, invoked him so she did not know his special name to call upon him unlike the first Marid. She knew, however, that she should be able to visit the world of the Marid as she was half Marid herself. She went within into the silent consciousness mode and thought of the Marid world as he had mentioned it to her and she could instantly feel herself splitting into it. It was as if she was disappearing into the ground while at the same time flying away in the skies. Present, past and future were but just one space that she was floating in. She could see from the skies only one woman and one man. It was as if all the male components on Earth had summed up to just one man and all the female components into one woman.
The part of her that sunk into the ground could see a gathering of Marids. They were just like a haze of clouds trapped under the Earth. It was very warm down in the Earth and not cold as she had expected given the cold air above the Earth. The Marid seemed to be having a reunion of some sort and were gathered in a half circle. At the top of the semi-circular pattern, a bit separated from the rest of the haze around her, her would-be half father was seated holding a golden scepter…
Gurdjieff – Oriental Suite – [N4,N5 Metropole Orchestra]
She wove conscientiously the points keeping in mind most of the time the greatest good of all. She knew that some of what she wove would not be witnessed in her time but in eons to come. Other parts of what she wove were for immediate results or results on the short or medium term. In the beginning it had been disappointing that the desires she had did not have an immediate resolution but she had learnt to accept this. She looked upon her task as a humanitarian one as she was weaving a better consciousness. She wondered how many out there were like her weaving a better series of connections into the collective consciousness.
Sometimes, her old shadows returned and she would need to stop the weaving during those days. That could mean no weaving for several days in a row. She always wondered whether her consciousness would still be connected so closely with the collective consciousness to affect it in a significant way or if these days of absence would have weakened the contact. Every time she had such doubts they were dispelled immediately when she returned to weave for the greatest good of all and saw the almost immediate results. She wondered how she could cope with her shadow selves to bring them out to the light and no longer have to sit in between all the time. This would allow her to keep weaving every day instead of having to make a pause.
One day she caught herself talking to one of her shadow selves that had strayed into the room. It was no longer lurking behind her as they always tended to do when they manifested, watching her, thinking she was unaware of their presence or pretending they thought that. She normally would only observe them and try to fill them with light but they would take cover, literally and refuse to be dissolved most of the time although she had been able to lighten a couple of them. Today however, she decided to talk to the one who had unwittingly strayed into the room.
Why do you need to provoke the advent of darkness, she said
Because that is what we are made of, she answered
But you are me and if you are me, you cannot be made of darkness for I am light
There is no light without darkness so therefore if you are light, we have to be darkness
Will you always exist? Is there no end to some of you?
Who knows? You have taken such liberty with the self that there is so much light. We have kept some to ourselves. It is our bubbles of liberty where we choose to express the colours grey and black. Are they not colours too? Why refuse them? Surely as an artist you should know that a palette must be complete? How would you paint the night without us? Or the ravens or the dark clouds if not for those colours?
She thought to herself that she must be right. She should perhaps leave them these bubbles of liberty.
Every time she focused her thoughts something so intimately connected with it would happen in the outer world. It was as if consciousness was responding to her thoughts and replicating what she wished internally to replicate. She noticed that sometimes the matter she thought about was so far fetched that the outcome of her focused thoughts was surprising and not similar to her thoughts at all. Yet in the midst of all those peculiar outcomes she knew that these were merely intermediate stages of consciousness moving towards her desired outcome. Indeed, the more she focused on her outcome the more this became part of what consciousness wanted as outcome if one could speak of wanting when discussing consciousness. She could see this because the more she wanted to be part of consciousness and was aware of it, the more consciousness was aware of her within it, with all the desires she embodied.
She decided to leave her full-fledged meditation based on the teachings of great men of other philosophies and embrace fully this relationship to consciousness. She would spend hours now at will concentrating her mind on the desired outcome and weaving through her mind’s eye the necessary consciousness streams to make it happen in the physical realm. She knew that you did not need to be at a specific place or reach for a specific consciousness stream emanating from another person. All you had to do was think of that person and project both your intent and that person’s would be intent into that area where your consciousness was taking you. From there on, it was a simple task to weave that stream or thread with the ones you already had.
Anyone who has made or seen being made those intricate patterns woven by mainly women and children who weave using preset nails hammered on a board would know what this looks like. The only difference is that there is no requirement for nails to be hammered. It is sufficient to have the points of intent set within the consciousness and then have the streams woven through the intent. She was getting expert at doing this and realized that when she wove grand, in the sense that this would have a macroscopic effect with little to no benefit for her, this was strangely more likely to have an outcome similar to her request than when she wove with her own benefit in mind…
I was reading today a 2017 article about Quantum theory and the “observer effect”. I have always been convinced since early adulthood that we not only react to our surroundings but can interact with our surroundings in a deeper way than by just the physical touch. This conviction was held earlier in the form of a guesstimate that there was something out there reflecting what was inside and I used to be a very dreamy child convinced that I was not from “down here”. Thankfully my parents were not the type who were intent on making their child prosaic and aware of their circumstances so I was left to myself to think whatever I wanted.
I remember once when I was little my elder sister hanging from the iron bars outside the window, covered in insects and telling me she was going to die and I had a feeling this meant she was going to fly away to the stars like the butterfly my father had shown us once transforming from a caterpillar. I was so convinced that I was not from here that I kept to myself most of the time and had very little friends. It was as if I was waiting to leave at any moment in time and would therefore prefer not to be burdened by separations. The stories our father told us or that my elder sisters read out or gave me to read increased this level of dreaminess and expectations of great miracles of the mind on matter.
Starting from the year 2010, I became increasingly convinced that there was an intimate interaction between our hearts, our minds and not only Earth but the whole Universe out there. I started writing from that feeling and a lot of my poetry became infused with that thought or conviction. From that time onwards, I carried out a series of experiments on myself and my surroundings to see whether my moods, my beliefs and thoughts could indeed change my surroundings and the events in my life. It is difficult to say whether this happened or not as this could only be measured by experiencing the same life without this experimentation which is, today at least, virtually impossible. In 2016, however, I realized that the fact of wanting to carry out this experimentation had given rise within me of a sort of entity which remained aloof from everything felt or carried out and which I termed “inner observer” to which I dedicated the poem “Finding inner observer” which I am giving the link for here (https://geethabalvannanathan.com/2016/03/16/finding-inner-observer/).
I continue to carry out experimentation on myself using my feelings and thoughts to observe what is the outcome of those feelings and thoughts on my life and although I wish I were able in parallel to carry out a human experiment with different feelings and thoughts and have someone else observe the effects, I find it interesting to note that positive feelings and thoughts do indeed make my situation better while negative feelings and thoughts make my life spiral downwards. What was more interesting to note was that negative feelings and thoughts spiraled downwards much quicker and created life surroundings and circumstances which were much worse than on the positive scale upwards.
If any of you have carried out such human experiments, I would be glad to hear from you in the comments section. Meanwhile, please find below the link to the BBC article which while a bit old is quite interesting and I leave you with those thoughts and as usual with a link to a video on youtube I hope you will enjoy listening to while reading this or going on with your daily activities.
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