I cut off all suitors and remained undisturbed

I cut off all suitors and remained undisturbed
26 June 2025
Courtesy freepik.com


My lover’s a dragon, my lover is a snake
when pushed to the bracken so silently he spake
In my mind the tremors of his vibrations stirred
I forsook all armours flew to him like a bird

A feeling so pagan, no religion could break
A tale begun again, for truest lovers’ sake
Beyond foolish rumours ‘twas timeless love unheard
as increased the murmurs my heart stayed undeterred

The air seethed with passion for a union to make
a process, with caution, there was so much at stake
Now bound by the futures that unfolded though blurred
I cut off all suitors and remained undisturbed

Reading of the poem:
Adele & Miley Cyrus - No Good Woman

A terrorist to love – part 13

A terrorist to love – part 13
31 March 2024


She opened the door slightly wider and rapidly exited the building after shushing Manas and showing him that she wanted him to come out after her. She braced her shoulders and started walking towards the café without showing that it was her target. The bulky man started slowly walking towards her. She continued walking pretending she had not noticed him gaining in on her. She could see that he was only a few meters away from her and it seemed like he had a gun on him. All of a sudden, she saw him crumple into two and keel over. The smell of gunpowder was strong in the air but she could not figure out where it came from. She felt Manas join her and could see he was holding a smoking gun. He had used a silencer. They walked together towards the café. It was thankfully still open as they both were hungry.

Manas sat opposite her, smiling at her. She had ordered sandwiches, a chicken breast one for him and a falafel and beetroot one for her. Neither of them had alcohol so she had ordered soft drinks for both of them. The waiter arrived at their table and as always with people who were not used to mixed race couples, he gawked at them uncomfortably not knowing whether he should only speak to the man or whether he could address the woman. She gave him a lukewarm smile and reached out for the sandwiches. Manas took the soft drinks off the platter and gave her the coke zero. They ate silently, only looking at each other from time to time.

When they had finished eating, Manas told her that he needed to go back to Cameroon. Things were becoming serious and he had been asked to go back to oversee the operations from there. There were several transactions that needed his signature and he also needed to rekindle the flame there, as well as assert his leadership over the cell there. What had happened in London had done his reputation quite some harm and he needed to show that he was in control and not subjugated by her. He did not say that clearly but she understood what he meant even though he used very carefully his words in order not to give her the impression he was deserting her. She reached out to him and hugged him with tears in her eyes.

It was starting to become difficult. She had no doubt that the man on the street was going to be traced back to Manas and herself. She wondered whether the ATU would cover it up or trace it to her and blame her officially. While her boss might take some pleasure in doing that, she doubted that he would want all the knowledge she had about their operations to come to light. If the cops were involved, she might have to talk and give up secrets in order to explain things. Manas stood up and signaled that they should go. He kissed her goodbye and left her walking quickly towards the tube. He would not be stopping at Canary Wharf as surely the ATU could be waiting there. It seemed nowadays that they only wanted to watch him and not catch him. In all likelihood, there was some bigger fish that they wanted to get to by following him. She looked for the crumpled bulky man but he had already disappeared. Was it ISWAP, Al Shabab or the ATU that removed him? She realized that she really did not care who had done it. One headache less, she thought.

Billie Eilish, Khalid - lovely

A terrorist to love – part 12

A terrorist to love – part 12
18 February 2024
Courtesy shutterstock.com


She woke up feeling cold and wondered why. She then realized that Manas had extricated himself from under her and left her to sleep on her own. The blanket had slid down and she was no longer covered. It was still rather cool outside and the biting cold of the night had penetrated the apartment that was not heated. The apartment felt as if it was deserted so she rapidly took her clothes where they had been tossed and put them on. She went towards the living room expecting it to be empty but Manas was still there. She was surprised that he had stayed back.

- How are you? she said
- I am okay my Angel, he said. Did you sleep well?
- Yes, I did. Thank you
- I am glad you did because we must now focus properly on how to go on

She looked away from him. Normally they would have made love and he would have stayed with her the whole night through but he had chosen to let her sleep and he had remained in the living room mulling things over. She wondered if perhaps he had regretted informing her about the next stage of operations and had decided he must now silence her as he could not count on her discretion. She sat on his lap and gave him a searching look but all that met her eyes was his unwavering gaze with twinkles in his eyes from time to time. He looked so endearing despite the words exchanged earlier. Could she really be fully safe with him now? What about the other men? Surely, they must be watching her and maybe they had even installed bugs or cameras in her apartment! She realized that her situation was quite precarious as even Manas would not be able to protect her all the time.

She stretched herself and then got up reluctantly. She decided to look around the apartment to check if there were bugs, but a quick look around did not yield any results. She started searching for cameras on the cupboards, the TV, the doors and her heart sank as she discovered the first one. It was a tiny camera on the inside of the bedroom door. She found a second similar one on the door of the living room. They must have realized that she did not fully close these doors. She went to the bay window and looked out. It must have been from one of the apartments in the building opposite her flat that they had watched her before deciding to install the cameras when she was away from home. She cursed inward, angry at herself for never having searched properly her apartment.

She went back to Manas realizing that there may be some more cameras on the top of the curtain railings or on the fridge or even next to the LED lights. It would take hours to check all of the apartment. She took a notebook out of the cupboard next to the sofa where he was lying down and started writing …cameras all over the place …. don’t talk… let’s go outside and talk. Manas took the notebook from her and wrote …let’s go to the café outside…we can talk there.

Manas got up and said he was hungry and they should go out and eat. She nodded and said that they should go to Paul’s at Canary wharf. Manas agreed and they quickly put on their coats and left the apartment. Her heart was beating too rapidly and she had to slow her breathing to calm it down. She was hoping that they would not run into any of the men from Boko Haram or from Al Shabab. Even the prospect of running into the ATU personnel was something she had no desire for at this point. She was too afraid of spilling the beans and making life so much more complicated for Manas and herself. She gritted her teeth and opened the door to the road very slowly, trying to capture as much as she could of the streets before going out. Under one of the broken streetlights, she could see the shadow of a bulky man who seemed concentrated on the door to her building…
Город 312. "Останусь"

There beside your heart

There beside your heart

25 March 2020

Courtesy pexels

I will bend

Like flower swooning

Into arms

Awaiting

Three moons now replicating

Urgency of you

 

Grace within

The moments’ magic

Powdered dreams

Where it seems

All my yearning set aside

In mornings confide

 

Look at me

I am in two suns

Shadow struck

Awe within

Revolution of bosom

There beside your heart

 

Reading of the poem:

Melody Gardot – Les Étoiles

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kqh2lgLlHes

Before the silken reed

Before the silken reed

13 March 2020

Photography by me

 

I looked at growing weed

Where two swans glided peacefully

Before the silken reed

They beckoned it seemed up to me

 

Had they heard my unspoken sighs

Thoughts of you, my solace?

Water hen flew across the skies

In criss-cross drew your face

 

I knelt still upon the boulder

That had the ice withstood

In love we could grow much bolder

Could we? I thought we should

 

Photography by me

Reading of the poem:

Song of Return – Saint of Sin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RBJzaziPxg

The Spirit Lovers – Chapter Eight: Martin’s return

The Spirit Lovers – Chapter Eight: Martin’s return

29 November 2017

Christian Schloe
Courtesy Christian Schloe

 

Martin wakes up in his hotel room with a strange feeling of not knowing where he is and of having been separated from something he cared about dearly without knowing what it was. His head feels heavy and his eyes feel sore. He gingerly puts a foot down to step off the bed and his head reels. It takes him a few minutes to adjust and be able to put the other foot down and stand up without feeling queasy. He takes in his surroundings as calmly as he can but cannot remember how he had come here. He slowly figures out it is a hotel room and as he goes to the phone to start dialing he remembers that he had left his wife at home after their quarrel and headed towards this hotel.

He dials the number of his wife, not realising that he has forgotten all about his true love.

  • Helga, good morning. I wanted to say I was sorry. I don’t know what came over me
  • What do you mean it took me six months to come to that conclusion? I have only been away for a couple of months.
  • I am not sure what you mean by that but I don’t remember what happened in those other four months. Can I come home?

Rita thinks back to how you had described the scene to her and how you had realised from the smile of relief on Martin’s face that his wife seems to have forgiven him. She remembers you describing how you watched him starting to pack his suitcase before you orbed back to where I was standing with her trying to console her as she wept Martin’s disappearance. She wonders why the couple of nights that they had passed together in that alternate reality appeared as a distorsion of several months in this reality. She feels a surge in her heart like every time she thinks about Martin but tries to overcome it. Tears well in her eyes and she bites her lip trying to contain them before they spill over her cheeks profusely.

Martin winces while carrying the suitcase down. It seems like something is wrong within his ribcage and he feels like a strain in his heart. He continues carrying the suitcase down and asks the receptionist for help with the other larger suitcases left upstairs. He also enquires if there is a doctor as he is not feeling well. The receptionist enquires and soon a doctor is made available to Martin who by now is convinced that he might be suffering a heart attack as the pain grows in his chest. The doctor who examines him tells him that he finds nothing wrong with his heartbeats nor anything else but that to be on the safer side he should go to the hospital.

Martin rings his wife again to inform her of the news and sets out to the nearest hospital in the hotel’s chauffeured car. When he reaches the hospital, they too find nothing wrong with him but decide to keep him under observation for the day. Martin looks at his wife who has come and realises that he is relieved she is with him but he feels nothing towards her now that she is here. He tries to reproduce the longing he had experienced that morning but it is not there. He wonders what made that change and why it is that he is not longing for her anymore. Is it because she gave in and came so easily to his side, he wonders.

Helga puts her lips softly against Martin’s a few tears falling from her eyes as she does so. Her lips freeze as she realises that he is not reciprocating. She pulls back noticing that he does not seem moved by her kiss and realises that he seems to be in the same frame of mind as when he left several months ago. He had mentioned an excursion he wanted to make to take time off from being with each other and to think about the future. Martin looks into Helga’s eyes and all he can feel is friendliness and gratitude that she came to be by his side.

  • You are a great woman, Helga, he says
  • I am your wife Martin
  • I know. I wish I could change things but somehow the magic is gone
  • Just this morning you were telling me you wanted to come home, you seemed to have rekindled that love you had for me
  • I’m sorry Helga. I felt like that this morning when I woke up but I don’t anymore

Martin does not tell Helga that he still feels that impression but simply not directed towards her. He prefers not telling her as he does not wish to hurt her but also because he would be at a loss trying to explain towards whom he has these feelings. He stands up and decides to discharge himself from the hospital as they can find nothing wrong

Rita wipes away the tears from her face and decides to start her mission at the House of Love. She opens the doors to the visitors and graciously answers all their questions about the great love between Nina and Harold the rock star. As honeymooners and couples pass by admiring the various emblems of love she feels her heart warm up to them as she can feel the love surging from them and towards her, pacifying her.

Martin accompanies Helga home and goes through his things. He realises he cannot stay with Helga and feels sorry for having given her false hopes again. He wants to understand more about himself and why he is feeling so forlorn for a love he cannot identify. He knows that his therapist is not going to help him much because he only asks questions and Martin knows that he does not have the answers to any of the questions that the therapist would probably ask. While he is going through his things, he sees a brochure for a place called House of Love and notices that he had circled the address and scribbled down a series of dates and a phone number. He calls the phone number and a person responds that it is an agency that organises honeymoon vacations as well as retreats for couples in a place called the House of Love.

Martin parks his car outside the place called the House of Love and realises it seems as familiar as the agency had seemed. He rings the bell and is welcomed by a butler who takes his coat and tells him that he is a bit early but the House of Love never rejects visitors so he would be welcome to stay in the library while the lady of the house gets ready for visitors. After a short while, Rita goes into the library to welcome the first visitors and comes face to face with Martin.

  • Martin! She exclaims
  • I know you, he answers
  • How did you get here
  • I know you. Who are you?

Rita throws her arms around him and in that instant all the other essences of Martin gather again within him and he knows. He turns her face slowly towards him and kisses her with all of his longing realising this was the woman he had been longing for when he woke up in that hotel room.

  • I know you from before Time, he says
  • I love you from beyond Time, beyond doubt…

He kisses her and the visitors who start pouring into the House of Love start clapping. Some japanese visitors among them take photographs or videos thinking that this is a performance which is part of the exhibition. You and I look at each other with delight though we know that this will definitely be sending some more ripples across time.

Le Flex – Kiss Me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_tS8YMXMZQ

Agnus Dei

Agnus Dei

6 February 2017

Opposites against_the_darkness_by_mirellasantana-d8vgnfc

 

Truth cometh

Feigned in fortieth

Tortured breath

Out of death

Blue narcosis distilled Seth

Call to Nazareth

 

Heuristics

New mathematics

Spoken once

Through the dunce

We see not through reeking pile

The might of the bile

 

A wane smile

A truth to beguile

It took while

To free vile

Opposites to reconcile

We rest in the isle

 

See mistake

No will to forsake

Truth I spake

Wide awake

In perfusing scent the rake

We gardens will make

 

Time to end

What we can both mend

The curve bend

Torture fend

Disbelief I now suspend

Let us not pretend

 

Play extract

Time to act with tact

Forsake act

Broken pact

We acknowledge the entr’acte

A chain to react

 

A stage fright

Staggering the might

Breath insight

Inhale Sight

Talking through the Night

Give up the failed plight

 

Hen will baulk

The egg snatched from squawk

Heartpath walk

Ibis talk

Strangers in roads the heart stalk

The Soul turning Hawk

 

Change Within

The Soul bird to win

Veil so thin

Flutter in

Butterfly will renew skin

From dolphins’ grey fin

 

Consciousness

Power will harness

Contract to redress

More for less

We once gave in forgiveness

Vile theft you would press

 

Divine Light

Guide Heart bright

Dark will smite

White Unite

The road to bliss we knew right

Twirling in twilight

 

Promise made

Within Everglade

The handmaid

Stitched the plaid

The Scots were once the lords

Now only discords

 

We retain

From Mary’s domain

Breathe out Pain

Falling Rain

The wilderness filled the plain

From what we remain

 

Love word hail

The maiden so pale

She threw veil

A light Sail

For the darkness to assail

New faith to prevail

 

Wedding dress

To dress and undress

No Duress

Sin Confess

New confessor turned to Mess

Exhales the Darkness

 

Spun inland

The bird on the land

Desert sand

Reprimand

Falcon landing on the hand

Never made demand

 

As with He

Be it written plea

Set me free

Into me

Winding through the ecstasy

Sail according Lee

 

No basis

Accusation is

Nevrosis

Psychosis

The Judges around Isis

A game of analysis

 

Night’s vigil

Waiting for the kill

Death instill

On the hill

I rewind in time on my window sill

Earth to keep so still

 

Shooting range

Victim to exchange

Extreme Change

Minds derange

Autistic the self so strange

New sciences estrange

 

Code Eternity

Renewed clock to be

Isis Free

Renewed spree

The judges on lands that see

Renewed mystery

 

What it is

Soul realises

Surmises

Through crisis

Burnt once in spring he rises

Through partner Isis

 

The shepherd

Will safeguard the bird

Sheep heard

Unheard herd

Puzzles looking at the nerd

Power of the word

 

We once told

A story foretold

Now Behold

Through the cold

We rewrite the ways of old

Mysteries unfold

 

Spirit Blue

You split me in two

Clever clue

Twin pursue

From beyond the wells I grew

Ivy to renew

 

Child amiss

No target to miss

Renew bliss

Photons whiz

The feel of oncoming hiss

A new Space to kiss

 

Agnus Dei

We dilute the grey

Subdued frey

New Pompei

Building the new World

With all that was hurled

 

Reading of the poem: 

Featured Image -- 22762

Agnus Dei – Laura

Bob Marley – Forever Loving Jah [01]

Yellow – Coldplay

 

My Lover Dances

My Lover Dances

28 January 2017

stairway climb 2 Meditation (2)

drowning wifflegif com

 

Ecstatic

My Lover dances

He brings moon

Wedding boon

Our bodies locked as we swoon

Into wilderness

 

Chiming bells

Dark Time to depart

The pathway

Open I

You can only see with Heart

Forgotten the hells

 

Wishing wells

They record all hopes

I clung tight

To the ropes

My chest with more breath now copes

Dissolving the slopes

 

Reading of the poem: 

christian-schloe-ravens-around
Courtesy Christian Schloe

Yeh mera deewana pan hai – Susheela Raman

Sakhi Maro – Susheela Raman

Manasuloni – Susheela Raman

Half Shiva Half Shakti – Susheela Raman

Dhamavati – Susheela Raman

Maya – Susheela Raman

Bliss – Susheela Raman

Nagumomo – Mami & Susheela Raman

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0GYpQYhAR0

In between choices

In between choices

1 January 2017

balance community humanityhealing net
Courtesy humanityhealing.net

 

Suspended

Breath of the sorrow

Between chains

Hood remains

Soul that gives all forgives pains

Even red morrow

 

Truth prevails

Through the jutting nails

Of wolves mask

Relentless task

Some take knowledge to sky heights

Some fleshy delights

 

Mind hovers

In between choices

Twin voices

Of lovers

The Truth only gives Freedom

To unchained Kingdom

 

Reading of the poem: 

Balance
Courtesy pinterest.com

The Truth – Audiomachine

Red Sorrow – Audiomachine

Ice of Phoenix – Audiomachine

 

Contrived contraption

Contrived contraption

27 December 2016

contrived-orki-design-deviantart-com
Courtesy orki on deviantart.com

 

Synapses

Diverging units

Time through space

Lovers knits

Illusions appearances

Unbends distances

 

Collapses

Of my nerve’s systems

Bleak anthems

Face disgrace

The ship sinks with all it boards

Waters welcome hoards

 

Digresses

The mind that invents

Circumvents

The intents

Recreating reaction

Contrived contraption

 

Reading of the poem: 

contrived-pinterest-com
Courtesy pinterest.com

Passage into Midnight – Omar Akram

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G698Ts9gmJk