She woke up feeling cold and wondered why. She then realized that Manas had extricated himself from under her and left her to sleep on her own. The blanket had slid down and she was no longer covered. It was still rather cool outside and the biting cold of the night had penetrated the apartment that was not heated. The apartment felt as if it was deserted so she rapidly took her clothes where they had been tossed and put them on. She went towards the living room expecting it to be empty but Manas was still there. She was surprised that he had stayed back.
- How are you? she said - I am okay my Angel, he said. Did you sleep well? - Yes, I did. Thank you - I am glad you did because we must now focus properly on how to go on
She looked away from him. Normally they would have made love and he would have stayed with her the whole night through but he had chosen to let her sleep and he had remained in the living room mulling things over. She wondered if perhaps he had regretted informing her about the next stage of operations and had decided he must now silence her as he could not count on her discretion. She sat on his lap and gave him a searching look but all that met her eyes was his unwavering gaze with twinkles in his eyes from time to time. He looked so endearing despite the words exchanged earlier. Could she really be fully safe with him now? What about the other men? Surely, they must be watching her and maybe they had even installed bugs or cameras in her apartment! She realized that her situation was quite precarious as even Manas would not be able to protect her all the time.
She stretched herself and then got up reluctantly. She decided to look around the apartment to check if there were bugs, but a quick look around did not yield any results. She started searching for cameras on the cupboards, the TV, the doors and her heart sank as she discovered the first one. It was a tiny camera on the inside of the bedroom door. She found a second similar one on the door of the living room. They must have realized that she did not fully close these doors. She went to the bay window and looked out. It must have been from one of the apartments in the building opposite her flat that they had watched her before deciding to install the cameras when she was away from home. She cursed inward, angry at herself for never having searched properly her apartment.
She went back to Manas realizing that there may be some more cameras on the top of the curtain railings or on the fridge or even next to the LED lights. It would take hours to check all of the apartment. She took a notebook out of the cupboard next to the sofa where he was lying down and started writing …cameras all over the place …. don’t talk… let’s go outside and talk. Manas took the notebook from her and wrote …let’s go to the café outside…we can talk there.
Manas got up and said he was hungry and they should go out and eat. She nodded and said that they should go to Paul’s at Canary wharf. Manas agreed and they quickly put on their coats and left the apartment. Her heart was beating too rapidly and she had to slow her breathing to calm it down. She was hoping that they would not run into any of the men from Boko Haram or from Al Shabab. Even the prospect of running into the ATU personnel was something she had no desire for at this point. She was too afraid of spilling the beans and making life so much more complicated for Manas and herself. She gritted her teeth and opened the door to the road very slowly, trying to capture as much as she could of the streets before going out. Under one of the broken streetlights, she could see the shadow of a bulky man who seemed concentrated on the door to her building…
Clenching jaws
follow new-found laws
Blast to cause
breath in pause
raking fingers turned to claws
revealing the flaws
We diffuse
the powers to use
Golden hues
fragrant dews
a conflagration to choose
aching sunset bruise
Bodies hold
memories of old
tales untold
lo behold
they speak of the soul once sold
for silver, not gold
Reading of the poem:
She walks slow
life bundled on back
Agony
her fiefdom,
mind scattered throughout waters,
thoughts a procession
They deal blow
never cut her slack
Trinity
not random
house as their hearts lurch
hospital and church
Two may die
May they ever live
to forgive
fathers’ tales,
she cries as her lung inhales
ashes for daughters
Reading of the poem:
Harbinger
of erased nation
A death toll
on both sides
leads nowhere as the fear rides
to uneven poll
the clock strikes
unequal death chimes
we surmount
the war crimes
our memory a closed tap
bodies our minds wrap
Live cocoons
shelter vivid thoughts
unwilling
uncaring
we see not what then transpired
as thousands expired
Fed through spoons
weather-beaten words
Flimsy talks
forceful walks
to the other side of hope
a yearning to cope
Warning call
lost time to recall
regret stitched
intimate
within layers of the brain
lesson to retain
The legs pace
unknown surfaces
riddled lanes
absorb pains
of humanity’s disgrace
all blood same red lace
Reading of the poem:
Rapid lips
express moving words
They distill
cryptic notes
as the East gathers the votes
two ways to measure
Flaming ball
scorches offered throat
Time to float
before fall
no capacity to gloat
no drill to recall
Chest pulsates
rhythm silent hum
it creates
mystery
Heart cries above medium
it’s a theory
Elders speak
their voices low, faint
We devour
within hour
the dripping flesh that they paint
Hunger, no restraint
Cardinal
points towards choices
The old fool
rejoices
stumbling in ineptitude
no truth in the drool
Align swift
new paths are tender
They pull us
there yonder
where outreach is in the rift
A new world to lift
Reading of the poem:
"The Voice of the earth" Divine vocals and flute soar above the earth
Am I a cheap bastard my Angel, he said smiling with that beautiful smile that made her heart beat faster.
Of course, not she answered while throwing herself into his arms. How are you, she whispered her head buried against his collarbones.
I am well and so happy to see you in a single piece, he said.
She found out that he had been informed about Abdelkader’s visit and his intention to see her and scare her off. She also found out that the Head of Boko Haram in Nigeria had asked both Abdelkader and Manas to step up the operations in the UK. It would seem that they wanted to have a significant event on the 5th of May at Westminster to mark their stronghold in the UK. The earlier bombing had not been significant enough and they had received confirmation that the bombing had not been strong enough to completely destroy the tracks and Transport for London would be repairing everything in a matter of weeks. They had hoped to cause more damage than that and that is why the Boko Haram cell in Nigeria was connecting with the followers in London to inflict more damage, especially at that date as the next day would see the crowning of the new King. They wanted to make sure those plans were thwarted.
- Why are you telling me this, she said
- I am telling you so that you do not take the tube that day and the day after as more attacks may follow above ground.
- What if I told the ATU or the local authorities
- If you tell them then we will both be dead. There are several Muslim policemen and a few of them are followers of Boko Haram although you would not know this by looking at them. The information is bound to come back to them and if they identify you then this would lead them straight to me and they would report me to the cell in Cameroon or Nigeria.
- I can imagine I would be dead but why you`? Aren’t you their leader in Cameroon?
- My credibility took a blow when you informed the authorities about the projected bombing of Westminster after I had informed you. This time I will not be able to escape suspicion as most of the cell members know that you are my girlfriend. They will be sure that it was me who informed you.
- Why do you not forego this life my love. I am sure that if you gave it up the ATU might actually be able to use your skills to catch other terrorists. You are an incredibly intelligent man and I know you have the physical capacity to keep up with ATU members
- I cannot do that my Angel. This is the life I have chosen for myself because our countries have suffered under the colons and Muslims have been repressed for so long. In Cameroon the situation flares up sometimes and we have to make ourselves heard. We have to be a force to reckon with so that the West may listen to our demands.
- I thought it was all about killing kafireen and increasing the number of Muslims
- That too, my Angel but also letting the countries that do not allow Muslims to practice their faith properly know that they may not continue what they do.
- But the UK is not one of those countries.
- The UK has another purpose. It is an important financial center. Our purpose is to cripple the most financial centers the West has and then put at the forefront those centers that Muslims are backing. This is also why I was in Dubai. It was possible to assess how far Dubai could go. I also went to Malaysia to assess whether they could take over parts of the operations.
She fell silent. She simply could not understand how a man as intelligent and loving as Manas was could be a terrorist and align with the dogma taught by them. She understood in part the anti-colonial aspect as she too came from two countries where colonialism had left deep scars in the countries and the looting by colons had impoverished them. Yet she could not see herself as capable of being a terrorist. Then again, if she kept quiet about the projected bombings, was that not terrorism by absence of communication to the authorities. If she did mention something, though, she would not even know if she was mentioning it to one of the followers of Boko Haram who had infiltrated the police. It could also be Al Shabab followers. Should she risk her own life in order to save people she had never met? Would it be possible for her to live life without any regrets if she did not mention it at all and attempt to stop it?
Manas could see she was torn between different decisions so he took her by the shoulders and told her that it would not change a thing as they would just change the date and both of them would be dead for nothing. He tried to make her see that it would all just be pointless and their families would also suffer from the fact that they would no longer be alive.
She pulled away from him. She felt all at once exasperated with his convictions and so drawn to him that she only wanted to be back against him again. She told him she was not sure she could just leave things as they were even though she risked being killed. She could not let him be killed though and she knew for having undergone it how horrible their methods were when punishing someone. They would no doubt punish him much more than they had punished her as he would have been the cause for their plans to fail. She threw her arms around him and cried against his chest. I know it is difficult for you he said and held her closer.
Wael Kfoury ... Kifik Ya Wajaai
A terrorist to love – part 10
12 February 2023
The driver grabbed her by the arm and took her to the cab. He lowered her head before pushing her into the cab. It was so symptomatic of how policemen put their prisoners into their police car that she wondered if he was a policeman on an errand for Boko Haram. She looked up at him after he had sat behind the wheel again. She could see in his eyes a flutter of recognition of what she was thinking. At the same time there passed in his eyes like a shadow of guilt and that persuaded her that he was indeed a policeman but perhaps also a hired gun for Boko Haram. He lowered his eyes so that she could not decipher anything in them.
- You are an English cop, right, she said
- I am in no mood for your mind games, he answered
- No mind games at all. I would just like to understand
- There is nothing to understand. I am a devout Muslim and am doing my part to cleanse the world of the kafireen (non believers). We will soon prevail. Our numbers are growing and we have struck into the heart of the financial system in the UK. The same will happen also in the US and other western countries who do not respect our religious beliefs.
- How can you kill people who are also God’s creatures. Is Allah not merciful and desirous of preserving the creatures he created?
- You know not what you say. Shut up you poor excuse for a Muslim. You have no right to speak of Allah and what Allah wishes for humanity. I know all about you and your involvement with the ATU. I also know how you bewitched Manas and weakened him first in Cameroon and then now in the UK. My superiors may not think much of your prowess, but I can see how you are bringing down a great man and an excellent strategist for our Jihad. If I were to have my way, you would not last long and Manas would then be fully occupied by our Sabil (way) to the higher realms.
She chose to keep quiet as she realized that the driver was a zealot and he might kill her if she went too far. He visibly had no respect for the Boko Haram hierarchy and was only drawn to the cause in order to be able to kill the most kafireen as he could. She had seen countless times men like him, so devout to the cause that they would take matters into their own hand regardless of whom they were supposed to answer to. Their leaders were of course unable to punish them overtly as they would then be questioned on their motives and might also lose a large part of their following if it were known that they had castigated a devout follower because he had killed a kafir. There were fine lines within Boko Haram just as there were in the ATU. In reality, the two organisations had quite a lot in common although they were working on opposing sides.
Her mind drifted back to her time at the ATU when she was charged with finding Manas and either bringing him to justice or making sure he died. It had been at a wedding of one of Manas’s cousins and she had yet gotten the order to take him down regardless of who else died with him. She had realised at that time that she would not be capable of doing that and hurting several people who were very likely innocent. There had not been any intel, indeed, on the cousin who was getting married and in all likelihood he had nothing to do with Boko Haram and most of the marriage party were but innocent bystanders. She remembered her boss’s anger at the fact that she had not planted a trigger and left but there was no way she could have done such a thing. She had killed many people but it had been during face-to-face confrontations with terrorists and other armed followers.
She lifted her eyes again and caught the driver looking at her. She looked away, not wishing to ignite again his fury against her and his anger at the thought that he was not allowed to kill her. She could see from the corner of her eye that he was still looking at her seemingly ruminating murderous thoughts about her but she chose to steadfastly look away waiting for them to pull up to her building. Soon enough she found herself next to the building and the driver came out, opened her door and tugged her out of the car unceremoniously. She let herself be hauled out and quickly started walking towards the building hoping that he was not following her. She heard the car start before pulling away and sighed a sigh of relief. When she reached her flat, she could see that someone had got in. The rocks that she put in front of the door to check whether someone had got in were moved about. She opened gingerly the door and looked into the room. She did not have any weapon with her. She decided that if anybody would have wanted to kill her it would have already been done by Abdelkader, Younes or one of their followers. She went right into the flat yelling come out now you cheap bastards. Her heart skipped a beat as Manas emerged slowly from between the plants on the balcony…
Sweet Blasphemy – Dhafer Youssef
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