I see you, I see me; I flee you, I flee me

26 September 2014

People see partners either as an extension of themselves or something that will allow them to be complete. Movies like the one where Tom Cruise spells out in words and in sign language “you complete me” have all focused on the idea that a man and woman need to be with each other because they would otherwise be incomplete and that they are only complete in the presence of one another. The west has thus unfortunately romanticized this notion to make it almost only mean the completion of two physical halves.

In reality, the reason male and female energies are required to unite by rubbing off on each other is that they lead to the healing process, the completion of ourselves within ourselves rather than with another and ultimately the gradual disappearing of dualities. Seeing the world with only one point of view, one energy can be detrimental to a person’s soul growth. This is true even in the case of people who are attracted by same sex partners. Indeed, the sex is not a true indication of the energy of a person. One can be a male with a very dominant female energy or a female with a very dominant male energy. The point of attraction would be the relevance of the other’s energy to ours and the mirror points of that person in disclosing the parts of ourselves that we have not reconciled within ourselves.

When we are confronted with something we don’t like about a partner, it is the Universe’s way of bringing to our attention something we need to work upon within ourselves. Rather than giving in to anger, hatred and all the fear-based spectrum of emotions that this trait or habit draws from us, we should dwell upon the fact that there is something to be found within ourselves, that resonates in a negative way to such trait or habit and that we are given the chance to examine this trait or habit, learn the lesson it spells out about our souls and seek to embrace it, heal it and reintegrate it back into ourselves in peace. When the lesson has not been learnt, that element comes back into our lives in a different form and sometimes its negative impact is multiplied tenfold until we have accepted to look into it and start the healing process. Sometimes, where the healing process was incomplete, the element will enter our lives again at a different level of tolerance where we don’t find it immediately abhorrent but still somewhat discomforting until we are able to finalise the healing process and either we don’t attract anymore that element or, if with the same partner, we are able to then help such partner in the healing process of that item – provided it was not a mere thought projection of that item into a partner who was actually devoid of such item and therefore does not require the healing process.

Our spiritual growth derives from the analysis of each such item that enters into our lives to determine the lesson to be learnt and then derive the related healing that should apply to that area of ourselves. The more we resist the analysis and therefore the understanding of what would bring about the healing of that part of ourselves we do not like or accept, the less we are able to love ourselves fully and therefore become the complete person we are meant to be.

Our life partners are meant to be catalysts and aides in the path of that spiritual growth. While they show us parts of ourselves that we are meant to heal, we too show them parts of themselves that they are meant to heal and the more open the process and devoid of fear-based emotions, the more it leads to the ultimate healing. Therefore, regardless of how much your human and/or flesh-based longing may be for a partner, do not dwell with those who are unwilling to walk with you a path of mutual spiritual growth.

While this is a generic point of view for most life partners, the matter should be treated a little more delicately when we think we are in the presence of our twin flame. Twin flames are meant to accelerate the path of healing to the extent that every mirrored area to be healed is brought out even more excruciatingly than with any other partner including soul mates. The relationship while including powerful and magnetic attraction therefore seems one of constant provocation and discord when all the indications leading to the healing are refused and not followed as the path to healing they are meant to be.

Sometimes, when one or both of the partners are not ready for this intense interaction, it is better to withdraw and ensure that the healing possibility is left for a future stage when the partner with the lower vibration is ready to resume the healing process rather than to break the possibility of this happening within the same lifetime. It is usually for the partner with a little bit more understanding and acceptance of the process of healing (the partner with a higher vibration level) to take the lead in withdrawing when such withdrawal is the only way of maintaining a future possibility of engaging in the healing process.

While most people tend to think that they only engage in a relationship at an equal level, in most relationships, there is a partner with a lower vibration level and one with a higher vibration level. What matters in deciding whether to stay in the relationship is the energy gap between both partners. The bigger the energy gap, the more difficult it is to bridge between the two partners and attain a common energy field. As I said before, for a person who is vibrating on a higher energy level to be frequently interacting with a person from a lower vibration level will be draining and will end up blending both persons at a lower vibration level. The more the lower vibration thrives, the more the partners are drawn into the material world of desires, attachments and fear-based living.  The more the higher vibration thrives, the more both partners seek less of the material world and more of how to alleviate human suffering of others.

If you are not certain about whether your partner is of a higher energy level or a lower energy level than yourself, a possible indication is whether that partner is more concerned by his/her own well-being even in the presence of more dire circumstances for an innocent bystander (for example, you and your partner are sitting in an area which is quite hot in summer and there is a beggar who is insisting on asking for alms and your partner is annoyed that you are in a good restaurant which allows beggars to bother you further while you are already feeling stuffy and uncomfortable – seems unbelievable but is a true story I have lived).

Other indications could include whether the person is always complaining, never happy with anything including those good things that happen in that person’s life. Sharing woes from time to time with one’s partner cannot be considered constant complaining but a good example of constant complaining is when a person who does not have a job for a while finds one that seems to be good but that person, instead of thanking the universe, complains that the boss seems a little bit tough and that there are going to be so many problems in getting to work because of the traffic, that the work is actually not so great, etc. Another example is when a person finds faults with something and its opposite and has shaky theories for changing sides in a very short span of time.

Another obvious indication of a lower vibration level is when the person is only concerned for his/her own welfare and does not engage in or even see the interest of engaging in activities that help alleviate human suffering.

So next time you are angry about something your partner keeps doing and think to yourself that this has been happening way too often and that you really don’t deserve it, just turn around, have a good look at yourself and ask yourself if there is really nothing to be learnt from the irritation you feel about this trait or habit in your partner. It is crucial to be self-aware when delving into the analysis of the situation and to be honest enough to allow all thoughts to come to you instead of automatically discarding any thoughts that bring you discomfort as being irrelevant to your situation.

If you can only find fault with your partner and none with yourself in a situation that causes you irritation, then you are not ready to grow and as long as you have not grown, you will always continue to run along the vicious circle of a life full of fear-based manifestations of your own rejection of yourself.

Important note: Please do not send me requests for direct assistance with your situations to my email address as I experienced pursuant to some of my postings in the past. I simply share thoughts from life experiences and conclusions I have drawn thereon for myself because I have found these to be helpful to some people I interact with in real life. While I am open to sharing thoughts and helping where I can with brainstorming, please bear in mind that I do not profess to have a solution for your particular situation and you should seek qualified help if you are living a difficult situation.